i shall blame these on PMS, yes..??

i'm such a grouch today..

1. early in the morning my maid discovered that the auto-gate was opened without us knowing it, and instead of being alarmed about it, she continued feeding my young son breakfast at the side-veranda before nonchalantly informed me that the gate could be faulty. i scolded her briefly for not treating this as something important for the sake of my family's safety. what if some vagrants, robbers, rapists or abductors just easily walked into our compound..??? and take away my young son..??? i continued fuming and grumbling to myself as i went upstairs whilst imagining all the what-ifs..

2. then my hubby's driver arrived for work and started all the car-engines as part of his morning-routines. but this time i took note that he left the auto-gate wide open whilst he went in and out of the store room at the side of the porch leaving the car-engines running and the car-doors wide open as well..!! i was observing and hoping from inside the house that he could be just a few seconds slacking.. but he continued on and on and even after i told him to at least close the gate first!! what if some daring thieves can so conveniently drive away with the cars..?? i was grumbling to myself yet again, and it was only 8.30am..

3. soon after, i was already checking my mails and doing some work upstairs when my young son came over to sit on my lap, sucking his thumb and holding his barney, and then started fidgeting with my papers and keyboard. told him to stop doing that but he persisted and persisted even after i threatened to 'pok' him on the butt. when i eventually slapped his little butt, he scurried away downstairs but not before showing me his hurt face. i felt so bad about turning him away, so 10min later i said sorry to him and he replied 'mama, jangan buat lagi ya'...

4. chicken has been scarce in our household due to the recent chicken-price increase. not that we can't afford the more expensive chickens.. it's just that i cannot find nice, clean and edible-looking chickens in the shops and supermarkets that i frequently go to because their chicken-stocks have been inconsistent and not-so-fresh-looking. so around 10am this morning i decided to go to the wet-market to get my fresh-supplies.. and on my way there somebody suddenly cut into my lane!! i honked at him, and yes, the driver then purposely slowed down just to make me angrier.. and i took his bait by overtaking him like a mad makcik on the loose!! by the time i reached the wet-market less than 5min away, i was still high and mighty...

5. dear hubby was still hanging around the house by the time i got back around 10.30am, so i told him of my morning misadventures and my current upswing moods.. and then requested that he should leave the house soonest possible before i turn grouchy on him too!! after a few permissible puasa-month banters and very brief pouring-my-heart-out sessions, he finally left for work, and i went up to our room, and started crying..

so are these really Pre-Menstrual Syndroms..?? i'm not exactly sure coz my menses haven't been regular the past 2yrs.. only tomorrow or the few days after would i know should these really are PMS.. it's much easier to blame my grouchiness to PMS for now, huh??!!

or i'm under plenty of stress...?? too much readings, too much information, too many things still to do, too many new scopes revealed, too many unwelcome hiccups and distractions...??

i think i may do my acupressure body massage now..